


The 74th Annual Hunger Games

by dryadfiona



Category: Hunger Games Series - All Media Types, Hunger Games Trilogy - Suzanne Collins
Genre: Canon Compliant, Canonical Character Death, Gen, Suicide, Unrequited, also i know the hunger games is written in first person but i can't do it i refuse, this is basically the hunger games from foxface's perspective that's it
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2016-06-08
Updated: 2016-11-16
Packaged: 2018-06-10 06:59:50
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 23
Words: 15,942
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/6944497
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/dryadfiona/pseuds/dryadfiona
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>This is the story of how Finch Miles lost the Hunger Games.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

  * For [tinybirbfriend](https://archiveofourown.org/users/tinybirbfriend/gifts).



> i will try to update this once a week! however: i suck, so i don't know if that'll actually happen. we'll see. it'll be an adventure.

Finch wakes up with the lights still off. It's odd--the lights should have come on by themselves by now, a reminder that she has to get to school--and she jumps out of bed, quickly getting ready. She's halfway out the door when she remembers; today is Reaping Day. School and work are cancelled today. She drops her bag and drops back onto her bed in relief.

She should feel terrible for being relieved. After all, even if she doesn't have to worry about the increasingly harsh punishments for being tardy, there's still a chance she could be picked.

_It's not likely, though_ _,_ Finch thinks, running through the numbers in her head.  _I've never had to put in extra slips for food, and there are so many other people._ Reassured by this, she goes downstairs to talk with her parents about the day.

Both of them look much more worried than she is. "Finch," her dad starts.

"Look, it's not likely I'll be picked," she interrupts. Her mom looks like she's about to interject, but she continues, "There are hundreds of other slips, and I only have four."

"It's random, Finch," her mom says quietly. "You're probably right, and I am grateful for that."

"So why do both of you look so anxious?"

Quietly, her dad says, "We could be watching our daughter leave for her death today."

Finch sighs. "You won't, Dad. Someone else will get picked."  _Probably._

"Is that supposed to reassure me? Someone else's child has to--"

"Jem," her mother says warningly. "Don't talk like that. It's what has to happen."

It's always uncomfortable when this happens. Finch knows on a moral,  _logical_ level that the way the Capitol rules is wrong. Unjust. No regime should need to rely on the death of children to keep itself in power.

But at the same time, what else is left? Could they even survive without the Capitol? She's never gone hungry or without healthcare. A few people do, but no system was perfect. Her mother seems to understand that.

Her father doesn't. Or he _does,_ but couldn't help from speaking out against it. Maybe it's because he grew up in the other part of District 5; he still has scars on his hands from working in the lower levels of the power plants. But wasn't it a testament to the fact that the system worked that he was now out of there?

She decides to stop thinking about it. She doesn't want to stress herself out on Reaping Day.

Finch eats without thinking about what her dad put in front of her. "When does the Reaping start?"

"You have a couple of hours," her mom says briskly. "I'd get ready now. You want to look nice for the cameras."

Finch winces. She doesn't like cameras, doesn't like being noticed in general. If all goes well today, she can blend into the crowd and leave as soon as the unlucky two are chosen.

"Finch."

"I'm going!"

Grumbling about her parents, she runs upstairs and finds the one dress she does have. It's gold and white and, while pretty, isn't anything that would stand out of a crowd, especially with the richer kids trying their best to look fancy. Brushing her hair back in a quick bun, she walks downstairs.

"Are you happy now?" she asks.

"You look lovely," her mom says, deadpan. "You could put a bit more effort into your hair--"

"I don't care about my hair!"

"You should, did you even brush it--?"

"Mom."

"Fine," her mom says. "You should head over. You could meet with Mynah."

Finch nods and walks over to give her mom a hug. Despite what her mom says about Reaping Day, she always gives the tightest hugs whenever it rolls around. She can feel the details on her dress pressing into her back and leaving marks, and gently says, "Mom."

"Sorry, sorry. I can't help but be a little over-emotional sometimes."

"I know," Finch says, and smiles. "Where's Dad?"

"He went over early. He's still stressed about this, you know."

"I'll see him after the Reaping," she says. "You, too."

Her mom smiles at her. "Now head over, okay?"

Finch nods and gives her mother a kiss on the cheek before running out the door. Her sneakers thud against the pavement as she bolts over. She's sure her quick bun is getting messed up but that's alright, Mynah will fix it for her.

It's a while before she reaches the square; her sides are starting to hurt. Panting, she comes to a stop and looks around. It isn't long before she spots her. She waves, too out of breath to call for her.

Mynah looks over and starts walking over. "Finch! Took you long enough!" Her lipstick is bright red, and Finch wonders how she can handle standing out of every crowd she's ever in.

"You look lovely," Finch says, and Mynah gives her a kiss on the cheek. "Only a cheek kiss?"

"Who knows, the cameras could be on early," Mynah says in her ear. Stepping back, she says much more loudly, "Are you excited?"

"Shh," Finch says reflexively. "I'm not worried, but that's not the same thing."

"Oh, come on! This is a great chance to network!" Mynah pulls her over by the arm to register. A quick retinal scan confirms that yes, she is Finch Miles, and her  _friend_ is Mynah Thurner, and they're waved inside.

"Let's stand by the front!" Mynah says, and Finch stops. "Come on, ba--best friend."

Finch shakes her head. "You know I don't like stuff like this, and being on the most public event in Panem is bad enough without being in the  _front_."

Mynah sighs and nods. "Alright, fine. I still look cute though!" She twirls, red dress hitting some of the people nearby. Mynah ignores the dirty looks they throw her. "Right?"

"You do," Foxface nods. "Now let's just find a spot in the middle."

"Wait!" Mynah says, turning her so that her back is to her. "Your hair is a mess."

"You sound like my mom," Finch grumbles, not actually moving to stop her girlfriend from combing through her hair with her fingers.

Mynah snorts. "How committed are you to having this bun?"

"I couldn't care less. Why?"

"You look _enchanting_ with your hair down," Mynah says, and Finch would laugh at how cheesy that sounded if she couldn't feel Mynah's breath on her neck. Really, it wasn't fair.

"Alright," Finch says, and is glad when Mynah doesn't call her out on her obvious voice crack.

A few moments later, her hair is down, Mynah nods approvingly, and takes her hand to walk to somewhere in the middle of the crowd. "When is it gonna start?" Mynah wonders out loud. "Come  _on._ I'm dying to know who's going!"

"You're not actually excited for this, are you?" Finch asks. It's one thing to be confident in the fact you're not going, but to actually be interested in what is essentially a glorified deathmatch... "What if you go?"

Mynah scoffs. "Please. Do you really think my mom would allow that?"

Finch shifts uncomfortably. "It's not a matter of money." Having said that, she knows that Mynah likely isn't going to be picked; her mother is filthy rich, and it's probably a clause somewhere that you can pay to get out of the Games. Or pay to get your slip taken out of the bucket. Finch may never have had to make her chances more likely, but there's no way her parents could afford that.

"Yeah," Mynah says, distracted. "You have to admit, it's kinda cool. What if that one guy you hate gets picked?"

"Just because I don't like him doesn't mean I want to watch him die."

Mynah notices her discomfort and stops. "I'm sorry, Finch. It's just...no one I've ever known has gotten picked. It's...it doesn't feel real, you know?"

"Yeah, I get it. As long as you don't cheer when we watch it together, I'm fine." Finch smiles, still slightly anxious, but their conversation is cut off by the mayor, an incredibly pale man with beady eyes and a sheen of sweat on his forehead, stepping up to read the same speech from every year.

Finch isn't paying attention. She doubts anyone here is, except  _maybe_ one or two twelve-year-olds who think they're the ones who are gonna be picked. They could be right, of course. She sees a particularly small boy with a ragged shirt hiding behind someone who looks a lot like him (his brother?) and has to bite down a wave of nausea when he flinches at a description of the war.

The victors are introduced. There haven't been many over the years, but they're not one of the worst; District 5 is hardly an outlying district. Some of the victors stand tall, looking proudly at the cameras, looking every bit what someone expects a victor to look like. However, most of them are barely standing at all. They have bloodshot eyes, prominent veins, and a look on their face that haunts Foxface for a few weeks after every Reaping.

The person from the Capitol steps forward and speaks. As Capitol fashion goes, she's somewhat understated; her hair is a natural color (though Finch doubts it's  _her_ natural color), her eyes are a normal shade of brown, and she doesn't have any face tattoos. Her dress is an  _absurd_ shade of blue, though; it's frankly disturbing.

"It's an honor to be here," she begins, and Finch braces herself for an incredibly long speech, just like the year before. However, the woman merely smiles politely before saying, "It's time to announce who will represent District 5 this year."

"Huh. Guess she's not the most social," Finch mutters.

"Who cares?" Mynah asks.

"If either of us get picked, we do."

"We're not getting picked."

"Ladies first!" the woman calls, and Finch really should remember her name, if only so that if she gets picked next year, when it's much more likely, she'll have that advantage--

"Finch Miles!"


	2. Chapter 2

Mynah's hand in hers suddenly becomes a death grip, nails digging into her skin. Finch is frozen.  _Less than 1% likelihood I would get picked, compared to everyone else, and it was me?_ She would laugh if the situation wasn't so terrifying.  _The odds were not in my favor._

Someone nudges her, and she lets go of Mynah's hand. "Finch," she whispers, but Finch walks forward, not looking back.  _If I look back, I'm going to start crying,_ she thinks.  _I may not survive this, but I won't die looking weak._ It hits her, then, that she's going to die. She stops for a second, painfully aware of everyone's eyes on her, knowing they're watching her walk to her death, but continues walking after just a moment.

The woman from the Capitol smiles pleasantly at her as she climbs up the steps. "Finch?" she asks, her accent even more pronounced up close and not through speakers.

"Yes," she says, nearly inaudible, coughs, and repeats herself. "Yes."

"Everyone give a round to applause to the female tribute from District 5, Finch Miles!"

There's scattered applause. Finch can see Mynah in the crowd, staring up at her. She's not clapping.  _The Games just became real for her,_ Finch thinks. _And for me. More for me,_ and she has to hold back a laugh. That'd hardly be appropriate. She can't see her parents, though. She thinks that's a blessing, because if she could then she'd start crying, and that's not good, either.

"And now for our male tribute," the woman says, and Finch can't tell if she cares at all about what's happening.

"Larkin Dahl!"

Finch doesn't recognize the name. She's grateful for that. Whoever he is, he's less likely to talk to her if he doesn't know her, and she doesn't have any words of comfort or advice to offer herself, let alone him.

She wonders if he'll die before she does.

The boy who walks up is probably a year or so younger than she is. He looks a bit like Mynah, with dark skin, curly black hair, and hazel eyes, but where Mynah radiates confidence and purpose everywhere she goes, Larkin is more uncomfortable than Finch is.

"Larkin?" the woman asks.

"Y-yes."

"A round of applause for our District 5 tributes!" the woman says, beaming. There's applause, but it's far from enthusiastic.

Panem's anthem begins blaring out of the speakers behind them, and the tributes flinch at the noise. The woman doesn't even seem to notice except for looking suitably patriotic.

Finch doesn't feel indebted to Panem or its Capitol today. Instead, she studies Larkin. He's shorter than she is by a few inches, and incredibly thin. She can see the outline of his ribs through his shirt, which looks like he made it the night before.  _He's shaking like a leaf,_ Finch realizes.  _He must be terrified._

She knows that she should be. She doesn't think it's hit her yet. She doesn't think it'll hit her until she gets to the Capitol, maybe until she gets to the Games themselves, maybe until a Career puts a knife through her skull--

Her nervous laugh bubbles out, and she bites her lip till it bleeds to keep anyone from noticing.  _Larkin's not the strongest competitor, but at least he seems to be handling this,_ Finch thinks, trying to focus on her ringing ears or bleeding lip instead of literally anything else around her.  _I'm losing it and we haven't even said our goodbyes yet. There's no way I can win this._

The anthem ends, and Finch manages a small smile at the cameras, hoping people think the red on her lips is just make-up.


	3. Chapter 3

A Peacekeeper escorts Finch and Larkin through the Justice Building. Finch has mixed feelings towards this place; it's where she and Mynah spent a lot of their childhood, but it's also the symbol of the Capitol here in District 5. That side seems to be more present for her today.

Larkin is looking around at the relative grandeur in wide-eyed awe. Finch supposes it  _is_ nice, but at the same time she's grown used to it. The Peacekeeper shows Larkin to a room and closes the door behind him. A moment later, Finch is waved into the next room.

The Peacekeeper leaves, trusting her not to do anything. He's right, of course. She's not nearly brave enough to attempt even a tiny act of rebellion. She sits on the couch, feeling the velvet under her fingertips.

It's time for the meetings with friends and family. She's been fortunate enough to never know any tribute closely enough to have to be part of one of these before. She doesn't know who they normally ask.

Her parents will be there, of course. Possibly her cousins, if it's based on family bond alone. Her mother will know to get Mynah. That's pretty much everyone she cares about. Everyone she cares to say goodbye to.

A minute later, her parents walk in, immediately enveloping her in a huge hug. Her mom is stroking her hair and her dad is shaking with not-so-silent tears, and she's not crying, though she knows she should be. She thinks she's in shock.

"My baby," her mom mutters. "I'm so sorry this happened to you."

"It's okay," Finch mutters, though it's not by any means.

"You can make it through, can't you?" her dad asks, desperate. "You're clever, Finch, and that's all you really need."

Finch laughs. "Yeah, and survival skills and the ability to wield a weapon and audience likability and--"

Her mom shushes her. "Finch, don't worry about that now."

"Might as well worry with the time I have left," and  _now_ she's crying, loud ugly tears like her father's, and her parents are both hugging her. She wishes she could stay like this, but this type of meeting wasn't made to last, and there's a Peacekeeper at the door telling them that their time is up.

"Finch, promise me you'll try," her dad asks as he's half-walking out, half-being dragged out.

"I--"

The door slams shut behind him.

There's another moment where she's brushing her tears away, ready to look composed for the cameras, and then Mynah walks in and she's back to blubbering.

The Peacekeeper leaves them alone and Mynah kisses her, and it's not anything like the way they've kissed before. It's full of desperation and the knowledge that this is the last time they're ever going to get a chance.

"Finch," Mynah whispers when they pull apart. Finch doesn't say anything, merely pulls her in for another kiss, but Mynah pulls away. "Finch, please."

"What do you want from me?" Finch asks. "I can't--I don't have a chance of winning."

"Yes, you  _do,_ " Mynah says, determined. "You're brave and resourceful and--"

"Mynah," Finch says. "Can't we just...enjoy what we have left?"

"I'm going to help you win," Mynah says, determined. "I'm...I'm gonna help you, okay? Raise money for you, the people here care--"

Finch interrupts her with another kiss, murmurs "thank you" against her lips. They hear the Peacekeeper opening the door and jump apart. Mynah stands up, the picture of a perfect citizen, and gives Finch one last look.

"You can do it, Finch."

Finch wishes she didn't sound like she was lying.

 --

The ride to the train station is mercifully short. The reporters clamoring around the vehicle still make Finch anxious, though. She's certain their escort--Volumnia Duncain--has noticed the way her fingernails are digging into her arms, but thankfully, the woman doesn't comment on it. Larkin is somewhat calmer now, looking at the cameras with something like interest.

When they finally reach the train, there's a brief period when they have to stand and smile for the cameras. Larkin grins at them, looking more like a goofy kid ready for his first day of school than someone competing in gladiatorial combat. Finch can barely manage an awkward smile, fiddling nervously with the hem of her dress.

They walk into the train, and Finch immediately collapses into one of the seats.

"Well, I hope you haven't lost  _all_ your energy," Volumnia says cheerfully. "We still have to properly introduce ourselves to each other! Not to mention, if you want to watch the reapings, it's now or never!" She laughs. "Especially in your two's cases!"

Finch stares at her. How can she joke about their life and death?

"You're assuming we're going to lose," Larkin says. It's the first he's spoken since the Reaping.

"Well, you have a chance, I suppose," Volumnia says, almost bored. "It's just...you're hardly the strongest kids possible, and you're not a Career." She laughs again. "But you can probably last longer than the kids from 11 or 12."

"Brawn isn't everything," Larkin says.

"Yeah, but cleverness alone can't win the games," Finch says quietly.

"What was that, dear?" Volumnia says, smiling at her.

"Nothing."

"Oh, well. I'll show you to your rooms!"

When she gets to her room, Finch collapses onto the bed and falls asleep almost immediately. The day has been exhausting, and she wants to enjoy what little time she has left. She dreams about the previous Games and wakes up in a cold sweat, remembering the way the female tribute from her district had died with an axe through her skull.

She wonders if she can kill herself before the Games begin. Or make a deal with a Career-- _how exactly do you ask "_ _kill me painlessly and I'll help you however I can", I'm not even gonna try to win, I promise?_  

Volumnia knocks on the door. "It's time for supper! I thought we might watch the reapings afterwards. It'll be fun!"

Dinner is the finest meal she's ever had in her life, but she's not enjoying it. She eats only as much as she needs to in order to get Volumnia to stop glaring at her then puts down her fork, ignoring Larkin's look of disbelief.

Larkin is eating so much and so  _fast_ that it's a wonder he hasn't thrown up already. Her stomach twists uncomfortably at the thought. She's always hated things like that--she's never been able to handle being sick or being around other sick people because of it.

Volumnia sighs. "Have either of you seen your mentor?"

Finch is about to shake her head when Larkin says, "She's in her room," around a mouthful of food. Volumnia  _tsk_ s at him disapprovingly.

"You'd think she'd join us," Volumnia sighs. "It's so  _exciting_ to meet a victor, why does she have to leave me to you two?"

_Do you know how rude you are and just don't care because we're both going to die?_

Volumnia suggests they start watching the reapings now, admitting she's seen a few of them and that they're  _really_ something this year. The Careers are all, naturally, intimidating in more ways than one--almost preternaturally beautiful and strong. The boy from 2 looks like he could crush her skull with her bare hands.

She finds herself remembering the girl from last year's demise and asks that they move on.

Even from the perspective of someone who's going  _into_ the Games this year, Finch can't see what's interesting about them. There's one kid with a prosthetic foot from 10, yeah, but there have been kids with disabilities in the Games before.

District 12 comes on, and  _Primrose Everdeen_ is called. The camera pans to a small girl with blonde hair and wide eyes, and even Finch wants this kid to win just because she deserves better, when suddenly someone yells, "I volunteer!"

That's...new.

Volumnia is on the edge of her seat. Larkin is staring at the screen in abject shock. Finch is fascinated-- _no one_ volunteers from outlying districts. Is this for the kid, Primrose? Does the volunteer just have a deathwish?

The camera focuses on a girl with olive skin, black hair in a messy braid, and piercing gray eyes, and all Finch can think is,  _Oh._

"Well, this is very exciting!" says the woman from the Capitol, Bethy or something, and Finch isn't even paying attention to her so much as the girl slowly walking up to the stage.

The crowd is parting for her like it always does for tributes, but also  _not,_ because instead of the usual discomfort at being so close to someone they're going to watch die, they're looking at her with awe, and goddamn, does she deserve it.

Because not only did she just agree to sacrifice herself for her sister, something she doesn't think _anyone's_ done in the Games before, but the girl looks like she was meant for something greater. Her features aren't classically beautiful, or not Capitol-beautiful, at least. Her jaw is a little too harsh, her brows just a little too thick, her frame just this side of too-skinny for that. But there's an indescribable  _something_ about her that Finch finds captivating. She looks like she'd be comfortable commanding an army.

She finally catches her name-- _Katniss_ \--as the Capitol woman calls for applause. The crowd is silent, which is weird enough, until they raise their fingers in what looks like a salute. Katniss looks shocked, and touched. The announcers make a joke about backwards customs.

Volumnia shuts the TV off. "Like I said, it's really something this year!" She smiles again--how does her face not hurt? "Let's get to bed. We'll be at the Capitol by morning!"


	4. Chapter 4

Finch wakes up before the others. She makes her way to the breakfast table to find it's already set with food, and she looks around uneasily to see who put it there. Seeing no one, she sits down and starts eating, still hungry from her small meal last night. She's less anxious now, so she's able to stomach more, and she's so focused on her food she doesn't notice when her mentor comes in and sits down until she speaks to her.

"So you're Finch, right?"

Finch looks up and nods.

"Orchid." Orchid is incredibly thin and pale with bloodshot eyes. She looks like she couldn't win a game of tag, let alone the Hunger Games. "Listen, kid--"

"Finch," she corrects her.

"Finch," Orchid says, and Finch is sure she's not imagining the annoyance in her voice, "Do you have any skills?"

"I'm sorry?"

"I don't care much for small talk, and we don't really have time for it anyway. Do you have anything that I can use to help you or are you going to die in the Bloodbath?"

"I'm..." Somehow, she doesn't think saying "I'm probably gonna die in the Bloodbath" will help her. "I...don't know."

Orchid sighs, sits back in her chair, and grabs a roll. "Well, then you're both probably fucked."

"Thanks for the emotional support," Larkin says dryly, walking in. "She gave me the same speech."

"It's not my fault you two don't know anything about survival," Orchid says, not looking up from her roll. "Or even being likable, Christ. If the Capitol likes you, you have a good chance of winning from their support alone. But neither of you are charismatic enough for that."

Larkin bristles and looks at Finch, but Finch accepts that and moves on. "What sort of skills would help us?"

Orchid looks approvingly at Finch. "Do you know how to cook?"

"Well enough that I wouldn't die from raw meat," Finch says, and while that's hardly an achievement Orchid nods.

"Do you know what plants are safe to eat?"

"Um...no," Finch says. "There's not really a place to learn in--"

"I do," Larkin says.

"Where did you learn that?" Finch asks him, confused. "Did I miss a class or--"

"I went into the forest for food all the time," Larkin says with a laugh. "Just because not everyone's as rich as you--"

"You can work out your animosities in the arena," Orchid says. "It's good that you know that, Larkin, that can save your life. Finch, there's a place for you to learn in training. Use it."

"Shouldn't I focus on...weapons or something?" Finch asks, unsure.

"No." Orchid finishes her roll and doesn't bother to grab another. "You're unlikable, hardly strong enough to wield a knife, and your best skills include survival if you even get  _away_ from the Bloodbath. Anything else? Anything at all."

Finch sighs and looks at her feet. "No one really notices me? I'm quiet."

Orchid laughs. "Now  _that_ is a skill."

"What?" Larkin says with a scoff. "How is that--"

"If you can get away from the Bloodbath, and you can go unnoticed and alive until everyone kills themselves off, then yeah, you have a chance," Orchid says. "You'd do well to learn quickly, Larkin."

"Is that how you won?" Finch asks curiously.

"No," Orchid says. "But that doesn't matter now. What matters is you have a chance of surviving."

"I do?" For the first time since this whole endeavor started, Finch entertains the thought that she might get to go home at the end of everything.  _I'd see my parents again. I'd see Mynah again._

"Hey, don't tear up on me. We're reaching the Capitol. Volumnia," and the malice in her voice is clear, "is getting ready so as to make the best possible appearance."

"You really hate her," Finch comments and Orchid nods.

"Being observant is a useful skill, too. But you're only half-right," and she's standing up. "We've reached the Capitol." Finch walks over and sees the gleaming, impossibly bright buildings. Orchid is smiling and waving at the people from Capitol, who all look  _thrilled_ that a victor had noticed them. "I hate all of them."

"My guess is lying is a skill, too?" Finch says, trying to mimic her mentor's opening posture and probably failing, but that's okay.

"Worry about that if you win," Orchid says.

Winning. Against her better judgment, she starts to hope.


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> i hate the district 5 costumes with a passion, they're awful, finch probably wouldn't care but i hate them too much not to write that in

Laporis, her stylist, is playing with her hair. "Your hair has to go up for this costume," he says, looking at her critically. "It'll just look absurd down."

Finch remembers Mynah's comment at the reaping and chooses to ignore this completely, asking, "What else do I have to do?"

Laporis smiles at her, and his face is so stretched out she doesn't even understand how he can move it at all. "Just sit still and let me do my work." Finch doesn't move as he grabs her hair and puts it into an elaborate braid. He takes a costume from out of the closet and shows it to her. "It should fit you perfectly! Let's see, then."

Finch winces and asks, "Can I have privacy to change?"

Laporis actually laughs and says, "Sure, sweetheart. Just know that in a couple days you're not gonna have _any_ privacy, so what's the point?" He shuts the door behind him on his way out.

"Thanks for the reminder," she mutters, pulling on the costume on. It's uncomfortable, tight in all the wrong spots and  _incredibly_ itchy. She turns to look at herself in the mirror and her mouth drops open. "Laporis?" she calls.

"Have you put it on?" he asks, walking in. "Oh, you look  _lovely_!"

No, she doesn't. She looks fucking hideous, in a costume that's bright silver and has a weird circle around her head. "What...exactly am I supposed to be?"

"You're a transmission dish!" he says dramatically, as if it's simply the  _best_ idea anyone's ever had.

"...why?"

"It's new!  _Exciting._ You'll certainly be getting a lot of attention. Not to mention, it fits your district!"

District 5 is responsible for power, not transmission or creating the shows. And even if they were, this costume is not the way she wants to get attention.  _If I do at all,_ she thinks, remembering Orchid's advice.

"Yay!" she says. He doesn't notice her sarcasm.

"Now let's get out there! Sponsors aren't gonna notice you from in here," he says with a wink that might've been a little bit okay if he wasn't, you know, a complete stranger who'd just spent a bunch of time talking about how she needed to look to attract people. Because _that_ wasn't creepy.

Finch walks past a few of the other tributes, both relieved and annoyed that none of them look over at her as she passes. She ignores her annoyance at the fact the District 12 tributes aren't here, and then ignores her subconscious trying to remind her that actually, she doesn't give a rat's ass about the District 12 tribute _s_.

She wonders what Mynah thinks of Katniss. That train of thought threatens to be dangerous so she shuts it down.

"Hey," Larkin says, dressed in a similar, awful costume. "What do you think of the costumes?"

"They're...interesting! Unique," she says, looking at the stylists' expectant faces. They all smile at her and thank her, it was  _no_ problem, really, we would just  _love_ to see you win! It'll be  _so_ interesting to see whether or not you do!

They treat this as if she's as excited as they are, as if they don't realize that their entertainment is her death.

"Get on the carriage," Laporis says irritably, finally catching up. "We start in a minute."

One minute until she's before all the Capitol. And all the districts. She's breathing much more quickly than she needs to, and she's sure everyone can tell--Larkin is looking at her like  _what's wrong_ and honestly, how the hell is he so confident--and Orchid puts a hand on her shoulder.

"Finch," she says. "Remember what we talked about. Focus on being  _ignored_. There are some flashy, brilliant costumes out here today"--Laporis  _preens_ \--"and you'll be easily overlooked." Laporis gives Orchid a death glare. She doesn't notice.

"Okay," Finch says, slowing her breathing. "Just focus on being ignored."

Orchid grins at her. "Exactly."

"Let's go!" Laporis yells, still peeved, and okay, they're moving now.

The lights are blinding and the crowd is screaming so loudly Finch is overwhelmed honestly immediately. When her eyes adjust, she sees most of the audience are looking at the Careers, not her. Their costumes are nice, elegant,  _confident_ , and here she is, dressed as a transmission dish. She waves at the audience, still a little dumbstruck, and from what she can see on the screens that are literally everywhere, it shows on her face. Larkin also looks confused, but somehow aggressive, too. Finch wonders how he thinks he has a shot at winning.

 _That's callous,_ Finch thinks to herself.  _True, but callous._

The audience has quieted down a bit, so Finch can at least hear herself think.  _But_ , she noticed,  _they're not quiet in the "disinterest" way so much as in awe._ She looks up from the Capitol citizens to the screens and understands.

Katniss is on  _fire_. Not in the metaphorical sense. There are flames on her outfit, which is a sleek black suit with red and gold accents and frankly, if Finch hadn't had a weird hero-crush on her before, she definitely did now.

She's nothing like what Finch saw on the screen, or pictured in her mind. She's not scared or commanding. She's  _charming_ , blowing kisses to the audience, throwing and catching roses, and holding her district partner's hand.

She can't believe she's jealous of a boy she's never met because of a girl she's never met. Both of whom might try to kill her.

Finch looks away from the screen.

Even when they reach the City Circle, the crowd doesn't quiet until President Snow walks out. Finch doesn't understand how people elect this man. She suspects he's involved in eliminating his competition. Something about him deeply unsettles her. He starts giving an official welcome, but she tunes him out--not as if he's gonna say anything that'll help her--in favor of looking at her competition.

Most of them are unremarkable. The tributes from District 1 are beautiful and likely very dangerous, but she can't tell if either have any muscles at all underneath all the glitter and pink feathers they're wearing.  _I guess my costume wasn't the_ worst, she thinks. The District 2 tributes are clearly not trying to attract sponsors with their looks (though they don't look half-bad)--they're wearing armor that emphasizes their strength. The boy from that district honestly terrifies her. She makes a mental note to avoid him as much as physically possible. The people from District 11 are so strikingly different that she has to notice--she hopes the girl doesn't die too painfully. The boy might actually have a shot.

And then, of course, Katniss. And her partner.

The camera stays on them for a much longer time than might be expected if this were a  _normal_ Games, but then, they weren't normal the second someone from 12 volunteered. Especially since that someone is Katniss.

They go back into the Training Center, and Laporis helps them down. "You were wholly  _boring,_ " he whines.

"Good job," Orchid says approvingly. "Your competition is probably 12, though."

Finch glances over, sees Katniss (now extinguished) glancing around the room before looking back at her partner with a smile. They talk, and she kisses his cheek. Finch stops looking over only when Orchid grabs her arm.

"Don't get distracted," she warns her, pulling her to the elevator. "I know she's intimidating, but you need to focus on survival."

Yeah. Intimidating.


	6. Chapter 6

After returning to her room, Finch collapses on her bed, having already taken her shitty costume off and changed into the comfiest pajamas available. Her mind is, thankfully, blank. She's not thinking about the Games or her fellow tributes or anything.

Her thoughts turn back to Mynah. She misses her, which is to be expected, but she misses her more than she misses her parents or any of her other friends. She imagines what she would say if she were here. 

"Probably something along the lines of  _get up, you can be training right now_ , which isn't even true," she mutters aloud, a small smile on her face.

"Finch, dear, who are you talking to?" Volumnia says, opening the door.

"No one," Finch mutters. She doesn't like or trust Volumnia--it's hard to trust a woman who takes far too much pleasure in discussing the  _exciting_ possibilities of a child's life or death. Especially since she's the child.

"Dinner's ready," she says, before gasping and picking up the crumpled costume in the corner. "Oh, Finch, you shouldn't treat such beautiful clothes like this!"

Finch rolls her eyes and walks out of the room. Orchid is the only one at the table. "What's up? You look upset."

"I forgot about how clothes should be my number-one priority when I'm going into the Games," Finch says, sitting down next to her and grabbing a bowl of mushroom soup.

Orchid laughs. "Just ignore her, Finch. By the way, do you know anyone with the last name Dunbryll?"

Finch starts. "That's my--Mynah's last name. How do you--?"

"You have one very determined friend," Orchid says, eyeing her curiously. "The second I started looking for sponsors for you, Laurel Dunbryll contacted me offering to help in any way she could."

"That's her mom," Finch says, and oh, she's crying. "I--I can't believe they'd--"

"Ugh, you tributes," Volumnia says, sitting down beside Orchid. "They always whine. I'm sure  _you_ were better though, weren't you, Orchid?" She smiles brightly at Finch's mentor.

"No, actually," Orchid says cheerfully. "I was much worse than Finch, and I didn't even have the excuse of hearing something very meaningful to me. I'd really appreciate it if your attempts to network with me didn't come at the expense of invalidating my tribute, thank you."

Volumnia's face colors. She grabs a roll. Finch has to stifle a laugh.

Dinner is mostly silent, though Finch breaks it when she asks Orchid where Larkin is.

"He hasn't deigned to join us," Orchid says with an eye roll. "He'd rather not sit with someone who he says will kill him."

"I'd at least wait for the Games," Finch tries to joke, but it only comes across as nervous.

"Would you?" Volumnia asks, sounding serious for the first time since Finch has met her.

"Would I what?"

"Kill him. Actually, would you kill anyone?"

Orchid turns, genuinely interested in her answer, and Finch's anxiety hits her full force.

"I...um..." She bites her lip. "I honestly don't know."

"You should figure out soon," Volumnia says, smiling disinterestedly. "It's not as if you have much of chance in the first place."

Orchid punches her. Volumnia staggers back, hand on her cheek, looking at Finch's mentor in shock. 

"What the--why did you--"

" _Don't_ say that to either of my tributes again or I'll do more than punch," Orchid says, voice cold, and even though Finch knows they're on the same side she can't ignore her stomach twisting in fear at the tone.

Volumnia spits on the table, leaving a red stain-- _did she punch hard enough to make her bleed?_ \--before heading to her rooms. Orchid sits back down without commenting.

Finch stares at her in shock, not touching her food. The servers around them don't respond other than picking up Volumnia's plates.

"Well, Finch?"

"What?" Finch says, and she sounds much more scared than she would like.

"Don't worry," Orchid says, tone much gentler. "I'm on your side."

"I just--"

"Don't forget, I won my Games," Orchid says, and it's the first time Finch thinks to ask.

"Did you kill anyone?"

"Yes," and damn, she says that calmly. "It wasn't easy. Physically  _or_ mentally. But I had to try."

There's a beat of silence.

"And you might have to kill someone too," Orchid says, tone still gentle, and Finch actually winces. "Do you think you could?"

She thinks about it for awhile. "Yes," she says hesitantly. "But I wouldn't--I don't want to."

"No one does," Orchid says. After a second, she says, "Well, except the Careers, maybe."

"No, but--" Finch is struggling to get words out. "My strategy is gonna be stay hidden, right?"

"Yes."

"So will I have to?" She's grasping at straws now.

"No," Orchid concedes. "But if they find you--and if you make it till the end,  _someone_ will--you'll have to defend yourself."

"Then I'll make sure no one finds me."

"What about if you make it to the end?"

If. Not when.

Finch doesn't answer.


	7. Chapter 7

When Finch walks into the room with the other tributes, she's reminded of the first day of school. It's always the worst day, because everyone's looking at their new classmates and that means everyone's looking at Finch, wondering  _hey, is she new?_ when really, she's been there every day for years they just don't notice her or forget her. It's like that, but worse, because not only is everyone noticing her, they're noticing her and thinking about how to kill her.

To be fair, she's thinking the same, especially after her talk with Orchid yesterday. This morning had been more of the same, a reminder to stick to her strengths--survival and cleverness--and a warning not to avoid the weapons completely. Volumnia hadn't joined them but passed by, a bruise barely visible under her heavy foundation, and Larkin only came out of his room when it was time to go to training, not looking at Finch all the while.

 _Does he have any hidden talents or is he just overconfident to cope?_ she wonders, looking at how smug he is even when standing next to Careers that are at least a foot taller than and considerably stronger than he is.

The other tributes file in, Katniss and her partner last of all. They're wearing matching clothing, and Finch remembers them holding hands the night before.  _I wonder why their mentor is pairing them up?_

The head trainer, a tall, athletic woman named Atala steps up and begins to explain the training schedule. They teach all sorts of different skills. You're forbidden from sparring with other tributes. She begins to read the list of stations, and Finch thinks she'll check out the one on plants to eat. Maybe camouflage. And she'll check out the knives.

So she does. Over the next few days, she practices at those stations almost exclusively. She's awful at camouflage, giving it up halfway through the second day. She's passable with a knife, enough so that she can hit the target. Not anywhere near the center, but hit it, at least. She'd probably survive if a weaker tribute attacked her.

She's  _amazing_ at the edible plants station. It's about memory, facts, analyzing whatever information is available, and that's what she's always thrived on. It gets to the point where the trainer says, "Look, I don't know if you're gonna make it, but plants aren't gonna be what kills you." She supposes that's high praise from someone who sends kids off to die for a living.

She also takes the time to study her fellow tributes. The Careers are, of course, lethal, but they're also somewhat dumb. They're good at almost all the stations, save for edible plants. Glimmer, the girl from District 1, is awful at archery. Clove is incredibly talented with the knives, sneering at Finch whenever she looks over. Cato is possibly the most lethal of all of them. Marvel is dangerous, but of the Careers, he's the weakest.

Katniss and Peeta stick together. Finch isn't sure, but she thinks Katniss might be annoyed by him. Since she's usually good at reading people, her uncertainty both worries her and makes her more impressed by Katniss.

A lot about Katniss seems to impress her.

On the third day, they're called in from lunch for their private sessions. It's in order by district, as always. That at least means the Careers leave first, giving Finch a few minutes to catch her breath. When Finch leaves, he walks with complete confidence. Finch is now relatively sure he doesn't have any actual skills and his conviction in his own ability is just a way to deal with the fact that he'll likely be dead in a few days.

After a few minutes, they call her name and she walks in. The training room is intimidating enough on its own, but without the other tributes, with the Gamemakers' attention completely on her, it's terrifying.

Finch heads to the knives. This will show she's not completely weak, but won't show any special skills--exactly what Orchid wants everyone to think. She throws them, manages to hit the target every time--a personal best--and while a few Gamemakers nod approvingly, the rest seem disinterested.

"You may go, Miss Miles," one says, and she heads to the elevator.


	8. Chapter 8

Finch, Larkin, Volumnia, and Orchid are sitting together for the first time in awhile to watch the scores being aired. There's a tense silence broken only when Larkin says, "I think I got a 10."

"Really?" Volumnia says.

"What'd you do?" Orchid asks.

Larkin smiled smugly but didn't say anything. Finch rolled her eyes.

No surprise, the Career tributes get fantastic scores. Larkin gets a 3. His mouth drops open in shock. "But I did  _fantastic!_ " he says.

"What did you  _do_?" Finch says, more angrily than she intended.

"I hit the dummy with the spear," he says quietly.

"You hit it?" Finch says in disbelief. "That's not enough! The Careers can get a perfect headshot from across the room!"

"A five's not bad, Finch," Orchid interrupts her. Oh, she missed her own score? "Perfectly mediocre."

Finch smiles. "Exactly what we intended."

Larkin storms off to his room. Volumnia leaves, sending an anxious glance back at Finch and Orchid.

"You should probably get some sleep, too," Orchid sighs. "You have interview prep tomorrow and let me tell you, that won't be fun."

"Being in front of a bunch of people who want to watch me die? How could that be anything less than thrilling?" Finch says sarcastically as she walks to her room. "See you tomorrow, Orchid."

"See you, kid."


	9. Chapter 9

"You both have to go through presentation and content," Orchid says. "Volumnia is in charge of presentation and I'll tell you what you have to say."

"I'll go with Volumnia first," Larkin says, and leaves. Volumnia awkwardly follows.

"I don't like that kid," Orchid says cheerfully. "I'll help him, but I don't like him."

"So...what _do_ I have to say?"

"Well," Orchid starts. "Your angle is your cleverness, right?"

"I thought it was staying hidden--"

"No, that's what you'll actually  _do_. You're telling everyone that you'll clever. The weaker tributes will avoid you--if they even make it out of the bloodbath--and the stronger ones will underestimate you. That's how it always goes."

"The bloodbath." Finch takes a deep breath. "What do I do?"

"Run like hell." Orchid looks deadly serious. "There's nothing else you can do. Grab whatever's near and run, and hope whatever you grabbed is enough to save your life."

"Okay," Finch sighs. "So I talk about how clever I am?"

"You can't just say  _oh, I'm smart_. You have to sound like it, you have to  _show_ it."

"What do I do, do a bunch of calculus on the stage?"

"No, just..." Orchid sighs. "Sound like you've already calculated every possibility. Don't sound afraid, sound almost  _bored_. Talk like it's just a problem you have to solve."

"Um, okay."

"What do you rate your chances as?"

"Pardon?" Finch says, startled.

"Of winning the Games. You only got a 5 in training--does that mean you haven't got much of a chance?"

Finch stays silent.

"You have to have an answer, Finch. This is what they'll ask you. Answer as honestly as you can without letting on that you're scared."

After another moment of hesitation, Finch says, "I believe there's a strong possibility I will win, given my ability to analyze the situations around me."

Orchid smiles. "Excellent."

\--

Presentation is awful. It's literally just several hours of Volumnia taking out her frustration with Orchid on Finch, because Finch actually  _does_ know about posture, thanks to Mynah bringing her to her parents' fancy dinners. Maybe she doesn't know everything, but enough to not warrant being called  _entirely hopeless_. 

Finch goes straight to bed after the ordeal, just ordering a plate to her room. It gets there within less than a minute, and it looks delicious, and that unsettles her.  _They get this in the press of a button,_ she thinks, not for the first time since entering the Capitol. Knowing that and remembering the way some of the people in District 5 look--so hungry you can see their ribs from under their shirt--makes her stomach twist uncomfortably like it always does in Reaping Days.

Or. Well. Did, depending on the outcome of the Games.

She passes out, conflicting thoughts of what the Games may bring and the horrors of her district she wants to fix but she might never see again fresh in her mind, and wakes up with Laporis' unsettling grin a foot above her face.

"Fucking--" She kicks out without even thinking about it, and thankfully misses, because she doesn't wanna piss off her stylist right before they get her ready for interviews.

"Come on, dear, it's time to get ready!" His accent is even more annoying than Volumnia's. She doesn't protest when they pull her out of bed and to their station. They, thankfully, are not continuing with the trend of satellite dishes. Her makeup isn't  _natural,_ but it's not so bright it strains her eyes, like her stylist's makeup. The dress is just simple, blue, and comfortable, and Finch begins to suspect Orchid talked with Laporis.

"You're done," Laporis says suddenly, stepping back from where he was playing with her hair. "Go get 'em." He sounds like he's not even  _trying_ to sound interested anymore. She prefers it to how he was before.

One of her other stylists, a woman with bright white back tattoos and gold--not blonde, gold--hair, escorts her to where the other tributes are lining up. She's directly behind one of the Careers. He's small, but that doesn't mean anything. The way he's shaking is far more telling, and Finch remembers Volumnia ignoring District 4 when they watched the Reapings, except to comment that "they don't make them like Odair anymore", which is just creepy.

 _Was he forced to volunteer?_ she wonders, before remembering that she doesn't want to start caring about any of these other tributes and shutting her thoughts down. When they finally go in front of the crowd, she's unable to keep her head quiet and her thoughts start racing.  _It doesn't matter that they can see you,_ she tells herself.  _You don't matter to them._ That thought shouldn't reassure her, but it does.

Caesar Flickerman is telling the audience a few jokes, not really important, so Finch doesn't pay attention, focusing on how to sound smart, until the tributes start going up.

Glimmer, from District 1, is first. They're clearly trying to play up her attractiveness, but Flickerman doesn't comment on it. Finch is relieved at that, both because it means Glimmer's lost a bit of an edge, and also because she's 17 and the fact they're trying to play this up at all is horrifying.

Finch decides to think of him as Caesar. Marvel, also from District 1, goes up. In contrast, they're trying to play him as violent. It works--he can't stop grinning when he talks about being excited, and Finch doubts that's completely an act.

Clove scares her. She's not trying to play up the violence or the attractiveness but her calm quiet somehow conveys both. She's terrifying.  _It wouldn't surprise me if she's the toughest tribute here,_ Finch thinks, but then Clove's district partner goes up.

Cato is terrifying. Absolutely terrifying. He's not just smiling about the Games, he looks positively ecstatic at them. He's not shy about his desire to kill the other tributes, either, singling out a few of them. Finch is incredibly thankful that Orchid directed her to stay unnoticed, because she's not one of them. Neither are the District 12 tributes, and that makes Finch think he's  _actually_ singled them out and doesn't want them to know.

She wishes Katniss the best of luck with  _that_ monster.

The District 3 tributes are unremarkable, though Finch notes the boy's prosthetic again and hopes he at least passes quickly. The District 4 tributes are also, surprisingly, unremarkable--for Careers they should probably be more intimidating. But then they call "Finch Miles!" and she couldn't care less about the other tributes.

She walks up, not beaming but not frowning either, and waits for the audience to finish clapping.

"So, Finch," Caesar says, smiling at her. "What do you think of the Capitol so far?"

A brief pause, then Finch says, "It's quite impressive. The technology here is so far advanced compared to even the best of what we have in our district."

Caesar nods knowingly. "But you've seen quite a bit of your district, haven't you? You're friends with the Dunbryll family, correct?"

Finch's heart stops, because  _that's definitely supposed to be confidential,_ but she smiles anyway and says, "Yes, Mynah--Mayor Dunbryll's daughter--and I have been good friends for ages."

"I'm sure having sponsors will help," Caesar says. "Is there anything else you'd like to say to her?"

There's a lot Finch would like to say to her. But she won't.

"I'd prefer to stay on the topic of the Games," Finch says, giving a small, secretive smile exactly like Orchid told her to, and the audience actually  _ooh_ s as if she's done something impressive. _Sorry, Mynah._

"The Games!" Caesar says dramatically. "A 5 is not bad, Finch, not bad at all. Tell me, what do you think is your greatest advantage?"

"I will always analyze the situation and apply myself," Finch says quickly, confidently. "Brute strength alone can't win the Games--you need to be able to think, too."

Caesar laughs uproariously. "Of course! Can't we all remember a few Games where some incredibly strong tributes made some rookie mistakes?" The audience yells out a few Games, and the buzzer goes off. "Oh, but that's all we have for today. I wish you the best of luck in the Games, Finch."

She thinks he's being genuine. "Thank you, Caesar."

He smiles at her. It's still unnerving, what with the makeup, but the sentiment is there. She sits back down and Orchid smiles, not looking at her, but Finch knows it's approval.

Larkin is nervous, clearly with a bad case of stage fright, and Caesar tries to help but there's only so much he can do. When the buzzer goes off, Larkin looks panicked and Finch doesn't like him but she still feels bad.

She's still in a bit of a daze after her interview, so she only notices the last few tributes. Rue, the girl from 11, makes her heart break  _again_. Thresh terrifies her, but not as much as Cato did. Then Katniss goes up, and Finch's mouth almost drops before she catches it.

She looks like a goddess. When she twirls, it's as if the stage has been lit on fire. And when she talks about her sister, the cold determination in her voice sends a shiver down Finch's spine.  _This is not the time._

When Peeta goes up, Finch almost feels bad, because there's no way he's going to outshine Katniss, but then he says, "She came here with me," and yup, that'll do it.


	10. Chapter 10

The crowd actually goes quiet at that for just a second, the camera quickly shifting to Katniss. Finch sees her looking at the ground, doing her best to pretend that this isn't happening--and Finch can't blame her. She's blushing, though, and Finch actually feels jealous for a second before remembering  _I'm going into the Hunger Games, maybe a hero-crush on a dangerous adversary isn't the best idea,_ not for the first time, and she tries to shut it down.

The anthem begins, and Finch rises, looking out at the audience with her best respectful but still disinterested expression. It's not difficult. When she and Larkin head back to their floor, Volumnia greets them, already chattering about Katniss and Peeta and how  _tragic_ it is that one of them has to die, says she hopes they die together.

"That's incredibly fucked up," Orchid says, and Volumnia glares. "Finch, you did well." She doesn't say anything to Larkin, but given how he did, that's probably a kindness. "Get some sleep. You're going to need it."

Right. The Games are tomorrow. That's...awful.

"Can we watch our interviews?" Larkin asks.

"Do you really want to?" Volumnia snaps, and Larkin shrinks back.

"That's  _enough,_ " Orchid hisses at Volumnia. Volumnia steps back.

"What do I care?" she says. "You're all just from the Districts." She leaves, walking as if she'd just delivered an incredibly witty response rather than the exact same bullshit everyone in the Capitol says.

"You guys should probably just get some sleep, though," Orchid admits. "You've...it'd be kind of an understatement to say you've got a big day tomorrow."

"Yeah," Finch and Larkin say together. The animosity that had built up isn't  _gone_ , exactly, but it's hard to be petty when you both might die. (The reason it's not gone completely is because they might kill each other.)

"Go to bed," Orchid says. "This..." She takes a deep breath. "This part sucks. This is the last time I'm going to see at least one of you."

Oh.

Larkin shifts awkwardly, and says, "I'm sorry. About being so--"

"It's fine. You're under a shitload of pressure," Orchid says with a bitter smile. "And Finch."

"Yeah?" She was anxious before, but something about having to go through this without her mentor's help makes her stomach tie itself in knots.

"Remember what I told you." Orchid says calmly. "I don't know if you'll win. Either of you. But I hope at least one of you can." Her eyes are on Finch. Larkin doesn't comment on it.

"Good night, Orchid," Larkin says, walking to his room. The defeated slump of his shoulders makes Finch regret not trying to help him.

After a moment of hesitation, Finch pulls Orchid into a hug. "Thank you," she says.

Orchid hugs her back. "It's my job, Finch. I hope I'll see you on the other side."

Finch shrugs, stepping back. "I hope so to. But we don't know."

Orchid nods, says "goodbye", and leaves.

Well. That's that, then.

Sleep, mercifully, comes quickly. When Finch wakes up, she actually feels well-rested. Laporis, face devoid of his usual unsettling smile, gives her a shift and guides her to a hovercraft. A ladder drops down and she grabs it--the shock comes as a surprise.

The ladder rises up and Finch, still frozen, feels a needle put something--a tracker, as a sharply dressed man explains to her--into her forearm. The current releases her then, and she rubs her arm while looking out the windows.

The view is beautiful. Mynah would have loved it. 

She eats the food, avoiding the more complex food for bread and fruit, stuff that's less likely to come up. Her experience with anxiety--something she'll probably have to deal with a lot more than she's ever had to before--has taught her what she can hold on to.

The ride lasts about half an hour. She doesn't know why she's keeping track--it doesn't really matter--but that's fine.

Finch reaches the launch room. Laporis doesn't say anything as he does her hair in two braids--fox ears, she thinks--and helps her dress. The outfit is built to retain heat and to help her run.  _Cold nights and...well. People trying to kill me._

"Any last words?" Laporis says when he's done. "Before you leave. Not before you die. Well, maybe before you die."

"Yeah," Finch says absent-mindedly. "You're really fucking creepy."

 _Hope those aren't_ actually  _my last words._

Laporis makes a face at her and leaves. She walks to stand on the cylinder and waits, for what seems like hours but is probably only a minute or two, and then a voice comes over the intercom to say it's time to launch. After a few more seconds, the cylinder begins to rise. Finch braces herself to be ready to run, though she can't go right away unless she wants her legs blown off.

For a second, she's blinded. Then she hears Caesar Flickerman say, "Ladies and gentleman, let the 74th Hunger Games begin!"


	11. Chapter 11

Finch has a minute to figure out what to do. She's  _not_ going to fight for supplies, because she's weak and also not a fucking idiot. She does need to get something, and she notices a backpack only a foot or so away from her. She has no clue what's inside it. Hopefully something useful, though, because she's grabbing that and leaving.  _I don't want to die on the first day,_ she thinks.  _I don't want to die at_ all,  _actually, but let's start with that._

She has about thirty seconds left. She looks around at her competitors, sees Peeta looking towards Katniss and shaking his head, but she can't see Katniss since she's too far away from her--not that that matters right now. She just needs to grab something and go.

The gong goes off and Finch shoots forward, grabbing the bag and running away, towards the forest. Once there, she runs for a few more minutes then climbs, hoping the tributes who also fled won't stop and look up, hoping the Careers will be too busy dividing the spoils to try and track her down for right now.

She opens the pack. Inside is a canteen full of water--she takes a sip, grateful--and a blanket. It's not as good as a sleeping bag would have been, and there's no food, but she's grateful. She can get the food from other tributes, or just harvest--just below the tree she's perched in is a bush with blackberries--not poisonous. She's not getting out of here until she hears the Careers head out though--until she's sure the camp is unprotected so she can search it.

It's several hours before the sky starts going dark. The cannons go off shortly after--Katniss is alive, Peeta's alive, all the Careers besides the District 4 boy are alive. She sits, mostly still, for the whole time. One parachute comes down, and she grabs it, ripping open the container. Inside is a bowl of soup, only enough for one meal, but at least the twinge in her stomach is gone. The message inside reads  _Best of luck, Finch_ in Orchid's messy handwriting.

She finishes it quickly, and an hour or so after that, the Careers pass by, not even bothering to look up. The boy from 12--Peeta--is with them. Finch has to admit, she didn't see that coming. It's probably a ruse or something--no one from the outlying districts would willingly partner with the Careers--but it doesn't make them any less deadly. After they've been gone for a few minutes, Finch drops down silently.

She makes her way back to the Cornucopia. The supplies are all still on the horn, even ones she was certain hadn't been there before. The boy from 3, who is apparently not dead, is patting down the ground. A lot of it is recently moved, and she eyes it for a second, confused, before looking back at the plates.

 _He dug up the bombs,_ Finch realizes.  _I guess I'm not the only clever one here._

Still, how long are the Careers going to keep him alive? The boy's life depends entirely on whether or not the Careers will remember the pattern. But whether or not the Careers do, Finch can.

The boy makes his way to the other side of the Cornucopia, to their camp, where Finch is fairly sure he won't be able to see her. She creeps forward. She jumps on the ground that doesn't look like it's been moved, and is relieved to find that it's safe to stand on. The pattern is pretty easy to remember, though she hopes it'll stay easy once she's gone and hidden.

While she's here, she grabs a few apples and a knife, just in case the Careers  _do_ find her, and then leaves quickly.  __ __ _Well, that's food taken care of._


	12. Chapter 12

Finch stays near the Careers' camp, because they know it's stupid to hide there, and Finch knows that they're too stupid to realize that makes it a perfect place to hide. Of course, she's not taking any risks with it; she tries not to disturb anything so that no one can tell she's there.

One sponsor gift comes--but it's only a single slice of bread, so Finch thinks its purpose is just so that she can get a note from Orchid. It says,  _Food's covered. Try not to get caught._

It seems impersonal, but that's just the way Orchid is, plus there's the whole trying-not-to-get-attached-to-someone-who-might-die thing.

Speaking of people who might die, they're about to announce the deaths to the tributes.

All of the Careers are okay, except for the District 4 boy. She feels a bit bad for him--he'd looked petrified during the interviews--but it's wiped away when Larkin's face shows up against the sky.

Finch's stomach lurches. She'd barely known him, definitely didn't like him, but that's someone she knew, actually  _knew_ , who's dead. Who died in the Cornucopia, probably. Who died in pain, probably. Who she could've helped, probably?

Finch throws up.

Her mouth tastes disgusting, so she takes a swig of water to wash it out before remembering that resources are precious. She has to swallow the frankly-disgusting water, and while her mouth isn't so gross her stomach feels awful.

"Larkin's dead," Finch says, voice hoarse from lack of use today. It doesn't matter that the Careers could be nearby. Except, of course, it does, because she doesn't want to die, so she shuts up, packs up her things, and tries to cover up the vomit as best she can before sneaking over another space near the Career camp.

When she finally settles down, there's fire clearly visible in the distance, and Finch finds herself grateful that she was forced to move because she can't stand the thought of being burned alive. She shudders, and wonders if Katniss okay.

She...actually doesn't know if Katniss is even alive. She stopped paying attention once she saw Larkin.  _Stupid,_ she thinks to herself.  _Now you have no idea who you're up against._

To distract herself from falling into a spiral of self-loathing and stupid decisions, she sneaks over to the Career camp to see if she can grab something else. They're there, unfortunately, and...is that Peeta with them?

Finch's mouth drops open. No one teams up with the Careers willingly, but he could feasibly run. So that means he has. So that means his whole spiel of being in love with Katniss is bullshit. She feels a bit pleased at that but then remembers Katniss' face when Peeta confessed.  _It was real for her either way,_ Finch thinks despairingly. The more rational part of Finch's brain reminds her  _Katniss would kill you,_ and that shuts her wishfulness up.

It seems Katniss isn't dead, though, because Cato is  _snarling_ to Peeta about her. Finch sneaks away before the drama gets too serious, but clearly Peeta's a willing member of the pack, even if Cato wishes he could kill him. Likely the others overruled him.

Well. This is why she doesn't have allies.


	13. Chapter 13

Finch can smell smoke.

She wakes up immediately and pulls herself into a tree, worried the Careers are coming closer with torches. Another look shows that they're not; the guard is still standing, blinking his eyes wearily. She hopes he falls asleep soon. The bit of food she'd grabbed is helping, but it's not enough to stay on her A-game. She might have to steal from other tributes. Actually, that's for the best whether or not she can take enough from the Careers; she should keep moving, avoid getting stuck in the same spot.

Finch still doesn't know where the smoke is coming from.

She turns and squints her eyes against the light from the fire. It's not near enough to blind her or even for her to feel the heat, but no reminder that this part of the arena is probably safe is going to help her calm down.

The guard yells to his fellow Careers, something about the fire driving other tributes out. It's time for her to leave. Quietly as she can, she grabs her bag and drops down from the tree. She hopes that in the excitement of the fire, they forget to look for footprints right next to their camp. There's no time for her to try and clear away her footprints; she's only just made it through the foliage to another hidden spot when the Careers rush by.

Clove leads the pack. Cato's the obvious threat, but there's something in her grin that stands out to Finch. In a weird way, it reminds her of Laporis talking with a kind of ecstasy about the Games he's seen in the past; nothing wrong with the joy on his face, but knowing it's because of a child being murdered ruins the effect completely.

Cato's close behind, and he's all muscle and fury. She can see a vein in his forehead. Another irrational stab of worry for Katniss hits her-- _it's good if he kills her, why should I even care_ \--and she waves it away.

Next, Glimmer. She's beautiful in a way that might make Finch's breath catch in her throat if she wasn't sure that the District 1 tribute would love to wrap her hands around her neck and throttle the life out of her.

Following, Peeta. He looks bruised, stressed, tired, unhappy. Considering he's in the Games, it's not surprising. Still, Finch can't help but wonder if his confession for Katniss was just a tactic he decided to abandon in the arena or something more. If it was, his being in the Careers is going to fuck a few things up for her.

Last is Marvel. He's holding a spear and looks excited, but he's just not as intimidating as his team members. There's even something about Peeta that inspires a sense of unease; Marvel's just. There.

Realizing it's stupid to stand there and stare at her competition, Finch creeps away to find another place to sleep tonight.


	14. Chapter 14

After travelling from the Careers' camp for about an hour, Finch's thoughts begin to wander. It's not a good thing--she needs to stay alert--but a girl can only think about the Games for so long without giving up completely.

Finch refuses to give up completely.

So she begins to think of other things, inane things--the smell of her house when her dad brings home a cake from the baker's, the way her mom's brow furrows disapprovingly when Finch forgets to hang up her clothes, the smile on Mynah's face when she looks up to see Finch at the door.

Mynah.

Finch still winces when she thinks about the way she'd completely shut down Caesar's attempt to ask about Mynah during the interview. She hopes Mynah understands, she'd  _love_ to send her a message, but it's the  _Games._ She has to survive, right?

_You can do it, Finch._

She's been walking in circles, she realizes when she passes by the same blackberry bush (she's already taken all the berries--her stomach's stopped hurting and she's so grateful for the edible plant training) for the third time.

"Fuck," she says quietly, shifting her route.

Even that isn't enough to break her thoughts from Mynah. She misses her. It shouldn't be surprising but it  _is,_ somehow. She shouldn't have any energy for loneliness when she's literally running for her life.

 _Emotions just get in the way_ , Finch thinks, knowing she's being melodramatic but if it's in her own head who really gives a shit.

The thing that finally does pull her out of her reverie is a little gold  _(wasn't the last one silver)_ sponsor gift gently floating down from the trees. It's delicate, beautiful--reminds her of her dress on Reaping Day--and she damages the parachute when she jumps and snatches it out of the air.

She tears it open, desperate for  _something_ that'll help her because of course Orchid isn't going to send her food when she's not hungry, but there's nothing inside.

Finch frowns. She turns it over and shakes it, sees a piece of paper start to slowly float towards the ground, and grabs it too. Fully expecting to see Orchid's messy scrawl, she starts to read it and almost drops it again.

 _Finch_ _,_ the note says in the neat script Finch has learned to recognize as Mynah's,  _I wish I could afford to send you something more than this. The gifts cost so much more than I imagined--the people in the Capitol must be richer than I thought. But I can afford to send this note._

Finch holds a hand to her mouth to muffle her crying. Why does this always happen with Mynah? She can remain calm and composed when getting Reaped, for fuck's sake, but a note from a Miss Dunbryll causes her to be a blubbering mess immediately.

 _I still think you can do it, Finch--_ (a teardrop mars the next few words on the paper, and Finch curses herself for it)-- _remembered what I taught you. Always seem confident. Who cares if you actually are? It's a Game, after all._

 _I'll try and send another one. Mother_ (didn't Mynah call her mom before now)  _disapproves, but I honestly don't care. I'll see you soon._

_Always yours,_

_Mynah_

Finch folds the note into a small heart (the way Mynah showed her how on their first day of school, and doesn't that seem like centuries ago) and puts it into her pocket, walking forward more determined than ever.


	15. Chapter 15

Two of the Career girls have died. Glimmer and...the one she didn't even notice running past her that day. Yikes. When Finch creeps up to their camp to see what the  _fuck_ happened that killed two Careers--usually they all make it until they all kill each other, and near the end at that--and sees them all collapsed with tracker jacker stings. She doesn't even have to be quiet when she steals their food (their guard, the boy from 3, is passed out, too) and risks taking a bit more than usual.

She really hopes they don't notice anything going missing.

One thing she  _does_ notice, though, is that Peeta isn't there. It makes her wonder if Katniss had something to do with the tracker jackers.

 _Can you imagine?_ Finch wonders, almost dreamily.  _Being brave enough to drop tracker jackers onto the Careers? How would she even do it?_

This sets off a whole lot of other thoughts about Katniss. She shuts them down somewhere before anything  _too_ crude about her appearance but after spending too-long of a time marveling over what she can remember of the girl's arm muscles.

_Muscles she could kill you with, Finch._

_Ah, yes, voice of reason, welcome back._

She doesn't know  _why_ Katniss is so stuck in her head. Finch is still in love with Mynah, as evidenced by the fact that she keeps putting her hand over the pocket with the note in it and smiling like an idiot. She wonders what Mynah would think if she knew what her girlfriend was thinking about Katniss.

A vivid image of Mynah's face, hurt, angry, appears in her mind before she waves it away.

No extra notes or gifts come. She actually gets bored for a little while before she finds Thresh's campsite and grabs a bit of fruit before running away. It's good, and Finch dares to hope that she might actually have a chance of winning.

 _I bet Katniss has food_ , she thinks.  _Should I go find her?_

_God, you really are enamored._

_It's not like that!_

It's not. Really, it isn't. But it doesn't  _hurt_.


	16. Chapter 16

First, though, there's the matter of food. Her stomach is starting to  _hurt_. She tries to imagine growing up feeling like this all the damn time and can't manage it. It makes her feel awful. If she wins, she's going to help the people in her district.

It's a pretty big if.

She decides to stop by the Careers' camp because they're the least likely to suspect a raid, what with the bombs, plus the less food they have the better chance she has of winning. It takes her a few hours to reach the camp, and she crouches in the bushes, eyes on the other tributes.

They're up and about again, and Finch wants to swear but won't risk being heard. She stands staring at them for a couple extra hours, and her legs are starting to cramp when she spots the smoke. A couple seconds later, the Careers notice it too. After a brief argument over whether the boy from 3 will join them (he does), they leave. Finch waits a couple minutes and cautiously creeps forward.

For a second, she thinks she hears a rustling in the bushes. Her heart is racing. She hates being out in the open.

Still, she has to get food, so she runs for the food. She stops before she reaches the first crate, looking for the rock that had marked the safe step last time--there it is. She steps by it--gingerly--and lets out a sigh of relief when she doesn't die horribly.

After that, the path is easy enough to remember; she makes her way quickly. At one point, she puts too much force behind her jump and falls. She barely has time to realize that  _she's going to die_ before she doesn't actually explode. It takes her a second to calm down, but then she's up and at it again.

She takes off her pack and grabs food, a few apples, some weird bread, and makes her way back out again. She bolts for the woods, only looking back when she's safely within cover.

There's more smoke now. Was someone setting a trap for the Careers? With a twinge of unease, she remembers the rustling she heard, and runs away, hoping they decide to stay on their original target. She doesn't need to deal with anything more right now.


	17. Chapter 17

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> look at me, updating once a day, adding gay shit, still not following the plot of the hunger games correctly. a good day's work with this fic

In the distance, Finch hears something explode.

She whips her head around to see where the noise is coming from. As far as she can tell, it's the Career camp.  _The mines must have backfired_ , she thinks. _Or someone set them off._ A grin spreads across her face.  _Let's see what I can scavenge._

She's only been walking for a few minutes when a little silver parachute floats down. The canister is empty except for a note--gifts must cost a  _fortune_ this late in the Games.

 _The Gamemakers decided not to let Mynah send any more notes, whether she can pay for it or not._ Finch frowns at the piece of paper in her hand.  _They'll let her talk to me, though, so I'll tell you what she has to say. Right now, it's nothing good; she's pissed as hell about the Games and she's worried you're not gonna make it. I'll try and send another note if I can. Don't die._

Finch's stomach clenches at the reminder of what "not winning" will mean. Also, she's hungry.

She finally reaches the Career camp and sees that the stack of food is a smoldering wreck. She steps forward, no longer worried about the mines, and digs through the items. She's actually laughing.  _With their food gone, they've lost their advantage!_ _Bet they can't catch me now._ She finds a knife and a pot, and puts them in her bag. Even the fact that she doesn't find food isn't bothering her too much; she can always find more bushes or another tribute.  _Maybe Katniss?_

Another rustle, this time from the wheat. Finch turns, remembers how she stole Thresh's food, and bolts into the forest.

Her stomach twinges.


	18. Chapter 18

Some time later, Finch feels nauseous. She doesn't know  _why_ \--she hasn't eaten anything that'd make her sick, namely because she hasn't eaten anything. She's been trying to track Katniss--there's no doubt in her mind that Katniss has food.

Finch has been foraging off bushes for awhile now, but less and less food is showing up. Today there's been nothing. She has a feeling this is  _going_ to happen for everyone but right now just for  _her._ It's the only way she's going to get anywhere near the other tributes, after all.

So, Katniss. She's pretty sure she's almost found her when she sees the smoke and creeps up cautiously, knowing this is likely a trap either set for Katniss or by her. Much as she might admire the other tribute, she doesn't want the other to see her.  _I'd end up with a knife in my skull_.

When she finally does see the other tribute, she sighs--quietly, but the District 12 girl still looks around suspiciously anyway. Finch holds her hand over her mouth and after a few seconds, Katniss shrugs and goes back to cooking. The food smells fantastic but Finch doesn't dare try and steal food from her while she's awake, especially not with her hand on the bow.

The bow is silver, gleaming, in direct contrast with Katniss' dirty, bloody hands. Finch wonders if maybe she killed someone, but no, the bow means she wouldn't need to get her hands dirty.

She remembers the cannons going off, remembers the announcement of Rue's death, remembers Katniss volunteering for her sister, and it doesn't take a genius to put the pieces together.

Finch studies Katniss a little more closely. There's something harsh in the lines of Katniss' face, like maybe she  _wants_ someone to come out so she can shoot an arrow through their skull. Finch hides a little bit more behind the tree.

Seeing Katniss like this is a little weird for Finch. After her hero-worship-awkward-crush thing, she'd been expecting someone confident, commanding, well-fed and smiling. It's a little absurd, but that's the way it is. 

 _You're just projecting your anxieties about losing onto someone you think has a better chance than you_ , the rational part of her brain reminds her.

 _Shut the fuck up,_ the other part says.

Katniss abruptly gets up and smothers the fire. Finch steps back; Katniss doesn't seem to hear the crack of the twig. The other tribute climbs up a tree and looks about ready to sleep (Finch eyes the food below the tree longingly) when the trumpets sound.

Katniss sits up. Finch looks at the sky.

Claudius Templesmith is announcing something, but it's too early for the feast. A change in the rules?

"Peeta!" Katniss says, before clapping a hand to her mouth.

Finch stares at her, trying not to think about why she feels so disappointed.


	19. Chapter 19

Katniss grins up at the sky-- _so the cameras can see her?_ \--and sits awake for a few minutes before lying down and falling back asleep. Finch slowly, quietly starts climbing up the tree and reaches into Katniss' pack to grab a bite of food.

 _There's plenty in there,_ she thinks.  _I could take more_ _\--but would she notice?_ Eyeing Katniss' bow again, she grabs only a minuscule amount of groosling and drops back down.

She runs for half an hour before stopping, eating the small amount of food she has. It tastes amazing, better than anything she's ever eaten before, even if it's burnt. She chalks it up to the hunger. It's gone almost immediately--she actually tries to suck the bits of food off her fingers, for once not caring about how people are judging her--and her stomach is still growling, aching, but the edge is off the pain.

She's not sure what to do next. After the new rule, the Careers should  _actually_ have each other's backs, so she doesn't want to risk going near them. She could go try and take something from Thresh, but he's so much stronger than she is. So is Cato, of course, but she could at least distract Cato (the boy's not the brightest). Thresh seems to actually have his head about him.  _Who else is even left?_

Finch stops. _That's it._ She starts to grin.  _There's only six people left in the Games. There's only six people left in the Games!_

Pulling herself into a little hollow under one of the trees  _(would I have fit into this before these Games?_ _),_ she thinks over her competition before sleeping again.

Clove and Cato. They're both violent, highly trained, and now, actual allies. Cato could break her neck without breaking a sweat, and Clove would keep her alive for ages. Finch shivers.

Thresh. He's strong, quiet, determined. He can also survive despite the lack of food available to him--he's from 11, he was hiding in the wheat, it wasn't a difficult conclusion to draw.

That leaves Katniss and Peeta. Katniss is clever (blowing up the Careers' supplies), strong (bow and arrow, (presumably) killing the District 1 boy), and charming (she's only thinking about this because of sponsors, she reminds herself, firmly ignoring how captivated she was by the other girl at her interview). She doesn't know enough about Peeta to judge whether or not he's a hindrance to her, but he hasn't died yet, so he has to know something.

She bites her lip. Clove and Cato might starve, unless they kill everyone else first. Thresh could die in a confrontation between either both the Careers or Katniss' arrows. Katniss and Peeta have sponsors on their side, as well as Katniss' hunting skill.

Finch thinks that if she, as an outsider to the Games, were to bet on the outcome, she'd say that Finch will lose before anyone else who's left. She curls in on herself a little bit more and tries to get some sleep.


	20. Chapter 20

When Finch wakes up, she's still tired and there's a stabbing pain in her stomach. She presses down on the spot that hurts the most to try and make it go away--it doesn't help. Crawling out of the roots she'd slept in is more difficult than she thinks it should be.

Her hair gets caught on the way out. She thinks, briefly, about cutting in, no matter what Mynah would think, but with a slight tug it comes loose.

It bothers her that her first thought is about the Careers tracking her with it rather than her physical health.

She walks on, thinking about what she can do for food. Every berry bush she passes is empty, except for a nightlock bush. She's hungry, but she's not stupid.

Finch keeps staring at the bush for a minute or two after she realizes the berries are nightlock. She doesn't  _really_ want to eat them, but  _God,_ is she hungry.

_And it's not like I have a chance of winning anyway._

Finch takes a step forward--and is cut off by trumpets, blaring. She throws her hands over her ears before realizing it's an announcement and looks up at the sky, listening warily.

The feast. How could she have forgotten about the feast? She laughs, twirls around, her competition momentarily forgotten.

Claudius is saying something about not only food being available, but Finch knows that's what she's going to need anyway, so it doesn't matter.

She pauses.  _The same might not be true for the others_. She bites her lip, sure she's on camera.  _How do I get in and out without dying?_

It's not as if she can hide in the Careers' supply pile, since it's obliterated. She can't rely on her own speed, not when Katniss has her arrows and Clove has her knives and Finch isn't that fast anyway. She'd have to get to her bag first and away before the others got theirs, and the only way to do that would be to--

She grins and heads for the Cornucopia.


	21. Chapter 21

Finch's back is pressed against the golden wall of the Cornucopia. She's crouched down, hoping none of the other tributes see and kill her before she has a chance to run. It's a huge risk that she's taking--being here at all--but she's starving.

Once when Finch was younger, her dad scolded her for saying she was starving. "There are kids, kids you know, who have lost people they love to hunger. Don't trivialize their suffering like that." He wasn't really  _angry_ , but his face was red and he had tears in his eyes. It was a pretty memorable moment; Finch hates when people are mad at her.

Now she knows she's knows she's not being hyperbolic; she is, slowly but surely, starving to death. More of her hair has fallen out, and the beautiful braids she had before the Games are now remnants of what they were, due to so much of her hair falling out.

Her teeth ache, she feels cold despite the fact that it's really hot outside, her legs are shaking (though that might be from holding the crouch). She's having difficulty concentrating. Her fingers are also, she's fairly certain, swelling, which she  _loathes._

So that's why she's here, despite the fact there's a 60, 70 percent chance she'll die. She's gonna die either way.

The table should be rising soon. She massages her legs in a weak attempt to get them back into running mode. Her efforts are pretty much pointless, but she hears a soft  _click_ and is suddenly back to full fight-or-flight. (She's still freezing, though.)

The table slowly rises out of the ground. She can't see any of the other tributes, but she knows that they're there. She has a few seconds to move.

It locks into place, and she's off. She grabs her backpack--notices how large the 2 and 11 backpacks are compared to 12--and  _bolts,_ heart pounding, ready to duck in case she hears a knife or an arrow behind her.

She runs for only a few minutes before she can't, anymore, and tucks herself into a little nook between two trees, eagerly tearing open the backpack.

Finch almost cries when she sees the food. Her throat is scratchy, so she grabs the drink first--it's mango and something she doesn't recognize but also doesn't care, and it's halfway gone when she lowers the cup. There's a burger, and she finishes it in two, three bites.

The pain in her stomach is muted, now, but still there, and she keeps eating, a weird bread thing with cheese and sauce, a spicy sandwich, a little box of bright, colorful cookies. She finishes all the food in what she's sure is an hour and a half, two hours, but feels like moments.

Finch leans back against the tree and sighs contentedly.

"Thank you, Orchid," she says quietly, though she doesn't know whether her mentor had anything to do with it, and falls asleep.


	22. Chapter 22

Finch knows better than to act without thinking, but when you're starving, it's easy to forget things. Especially things that your mother told you teasingly when you're in an arena to the death.

For example, something like "don't eat your food too fast".

She wakes up and vomits, and there goes the giant risk she took going to the feast.

Finch is not quite as bad as she was before, but she's in really bad shape. She decides to try and steal food from another tribute--why the fuck not, after all--and since she's pretty much fucked no matter what she does, she decides to go find Katniss.

 _At least the person who kills me will deserve to win_ , she thinks gloomily.

\--

It takes her days, but she finds them. Them being Katniss and Peeta. She doesn't even bother trying to stop the twist of jealousy in her stomach--maybe it's just hunger, actually. It's not as if she has a chance, of winning _or_ getting Katniss.

She hides, to the side of the cave, somewhere that's a really shitty place to attack from and therefore one Katniss won't check, and curls up to try and sleep.

\--

They wake her up the next morning, their cheerful, playful banter so like that of a couple she acutely misses Mynah. They're going to look for food and Finch's heart leaps into her chest. She follows, silently--being right next to someone with a deadly weapon is a hell of an incentive--until they split up.

There's two options here. One, follow her hero-crush. Pros: she gets to stare at Katniss, Katniss is way more likely to find food. Cons: Katniss is also way more likely to find her, and kill her. Two, follow her hero-crush's boyfriend. Pros: There's no way she's getting caught, and even if he does notice her, she can run a helluva lot faster than he can. Cons: She doesn't get to stare at Katniss.

She's thankful reason actually wins for once.


	23. Chapter 23

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> bitch we fuckin did it  
> hello two ppl who r reading this how r u doing u guys r rad

Peeta stumbles along, and Finch winces every time he makes a noise. The Careers could be tracking them, and Peeta's making enough noise that even Larkin could have caught him.

 _That was mean, Finch_ , she scolds herself.

 _Who cares,_ another part of her brain says.

Finch is incredibly hungry. She's also becoming more and more pessimistic as time passes. In fact, she's pretty much at the point of giving up.

Points in her favor:

  * She can hide from the other tributes, except perhaps Katniss, indefinitely.
  * Regarding this point, Katniss is not likely to track her when she has to look after Peeta.
  * She is not anyone's first target.



Points not in her favor:

  * She has no weapon.
  * She has no food.
  * She is starving to death.
  * Her reasoning abilities are being damaged by the aforementioned starvation.
  * In the soon-to-come final fight, she has no chance.



The lists don't exactly match up.

Finch doesn't necessarily actively want to die so much as she's accepted it's coming. In this situation, she thinks that's kind of okay. Fights to the death are nothing if not extenuating circumstances, after all.

Then Peeta finds nightlock.

She freezes and sits, staring at the food. It's a miracle Peeta hasn't seen her.

He goes off to find more, and before she can think twice, she grabs an apple, a bit of cheese, and a few of the nightlock berries. Finch hides in another bush and sits, staring at the berries while shoving the other food into her mouth.

If she's gonna do this, she's going to do this with as much of a full stomach as possible.

Finch sits, staring, for a few minutes more. Her heart is pounding. She's fairly certain there are tears in her eyes.

 _I don't want to die_ , she thinks.  _But if I'm going to anyway..._

Finch looks up, knowing a camera is on her, and says, "Orchid, I'm sorry I couldn't win. Mom, Dad, I love you both. Mynah--" And now she's about to cry again, but she takes a deep breath and holds it back. "I'm sorry I couldn't do this. I--" She shakes her head; she can't say that on television. "You know. You know."

Without another word, she swallows the berries, and everything goes black.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> this uneven, bad, oddly paced mess of a fic is my child and i love it


End file.
